reasonable facsimile

Paper Back Rider

2010-01-17T12:05:00.001-08:00

A few years back, I was looking for a certain book called Five Smooth Stones. I had read it long, long ago, and remembered it being a life-changer. As in, this book should be required high school reading instead of, say, Ivanhoe. So I poked around on the internet, and found a site called Alibris Company. They specialize in rare and out-of-print books. I was able to find 2 copies of my book, which I immediately loaned out and have never seen again. (I wonder if they have another copy...)

Today they sent me an email with some suggested reading they have "lovingly chosen" just for me. Let's just see what books I apparently need to read, shall we?

Here's an up-beat little book. Boy meets girl; boy loves girl; boy disappears-and-reappears unexpectedly. Cool beans! Or terribly inconvenient. What if you're in the middle of, say, flipping pancake? Or changing a diaper? To be honest, I haven't read this yet, although it's on my ipod, and I have begun listening to it. It's pretty creepy, so far. Um, do I need to read creepy literature? Maybe so; I did read The Lovely Bones, and although I loved it, the movie was a creepfest. So maybe. I'll finish this book (via audio) and see if it makes me happy.

This book was highly touted when it was first published. I read it in a couple of hours, and can't say it's a life-changer. I wanted to better understand life in the middle East, but did I? Or did I learn more from Not Without My Daughter? Or are both books misleading? Anyway, this was a downer. There was mayhem and racial conflict and abandonment. If I want to experience that, I'll watch Real Housewives of Atlanta. So I won't be buying this book. Besides, already read it. So, no thanks.

Oh, now THIS is interesting. Here's the description:

This guide offers suggestions for developing grief support groups and directions for using art to help children ages 6--12 individually or in groups cope with loss and change. Curricula are provided to use with the four workbooks in the series: When Someone Very Special Dies, When Something Terrible Happens, When Mom and Dad Separate, and When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness.

The fine folks at Alibris have lovingly discovered some traits about me that I didn't know I had. For example, apparently I lead grief support groups for children. That must be where all my free time has gone. Oh, and I'm an art instructor. Well, that part's pretty accurate. I can draw killer stick figures. Maybe that's what happened to the Someone Very Special who had died. My killer stick figures got 'em.

And here's the last book they've lovingly chosen for me. Now, I'll admit 2003 was a banner year for death & grief in our family. We lost 2 granddaughters, my mom, and my daughter's marriage in the span of 11 months. I bet this book would have been very helpful back then. But seven years later? Doing fine now, thanks Alibris. I'll pass on this suggestion, too.

I know the internets can sneak a peek at my emails and website visits, and evaluate my likes and dislikes based on the info they glean from that data. So friends, I ask you this: do you think I'm in trouble here? I thought I was fairly happy-go-lucky. I wake up with a positive attitude almost every morning, knowing I have a full complement of health points available on Treasure Madness. I look for the good in people and situations, even though that really annoys my husband. I keep a fairly clean house and person. So what is it about me that causes Alibris to send me a suggested reading list like this?

2009-12-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

Another Marie Callender's Thanksgiving is put to rest. Christmas is around a couple of corners. It's always a whole lot of work and worry, but we have such amazing employees, they are always willing to help carry the burden. Because of a demanding few weeks at work, it's taken me a few days to catch up on all the daily Stuff it takes to run a household. I'm in awe of all my Facebook friends who have already decorated their homes. I haven't found the energy for that yet. Maybe this weekend.

Maybe not.

Give a Home for the Fleas, a Hive for the Buzzin' Bees...

2009-05-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

The warmer weather is upon us, and with it comes the age-old physics question: How is it an 80 pound dog can shed 15 pounds of fur today, then miraculously grow it back overnight, only to drop it again tomorrow? I have gone through at least 3 very expensive vacuums in the past few years sucking up dog hair. Turns out, in spite of their convincing commercials, vacuums don't do well with that poundage of hair. And I own probably a half dozen "guaranteed to stop the shedding" doggie brushes. Yeah, not so much. I have taken her to the groomer to have her "undercoat" removed...what's an undercoat, anyway?...and apparently all that does is loosen up the stuff, enabling it to fall more easily.

Next stop: The Yul Brenner look. My dog may be completely humiliated by her new 'do, but at least I won't have to sweep twice a day.

2009-04-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

I got my very own Kindle a few months ago. I was anxious to give it a test drive...kick the tires and light the fires, so to speak. So I downloaded my favorite of all-time novel, Stephen King's The Stand. I downloaded the NIV version of the Bible, which isn't my preferred version, but it's the one my church uses, so I'm going with that particular flow. And I downloaded an American Idol blog subscription.

I'm a die-hard audiobook fan, because my old lady eyes get tired so easily. Plus I like to "read" while I drive, and I love to hear really good readers. Well, I decided to try the Kindle's text-to-speech feature. I plugged in the speakers, and opened The Stand, a book I've read repeatedly, and from which I can semi-quote long passages...and it's a good thing, because it was being read by R2D2, and I had no idea what was being said. So the robot voice on the Kindle was not going to cut it for me.

It's a little bit awkward to hold because it's stiff and solid. I wondered if I could get used to that.

Uh oh. This was starting to look like an expensive disappointment, like my first Palm Pilot, or my digital voice recorder. (which was just fabulous until it took the death ride through the wash cycle. Hey, nowhere on the packaging did it say not to launder it. There was no warning about leaving it in my pocket and just tossing it in with the darks)

But I digress...

I was excited when I discovered I could download the new Wally Lamb novel (retailing at Amazon for $36.95) for under ten bucks. So I did. It took about 30 seconds to download. From thin air. No cables, no plugs, no computer, nothing. Wow. First I got a free sample to read before making the purchase -- Barnes and Noble never did that for me! So I started to read. The book is about Columbine survivors, and the ripple effect such a tragedy has on people's lives. Really really good...

And suddenly, I was hooked.

I can read in any position: in the car, in the bed, leaning against the shopping cart at Costco. I can change the size of the font to adjust to my current level of eye strain. I can lay the book aside or toss it into my purse without a bookmark. I am reading again, and loving it.

Here are a few more of the upsides:
-- all the books are $9.99. No matter how many pages. Sometimes they offer sale prices.
-- Amazon offers like a quarter of a million titles for download, with more being added all the time
-- you want the book right now? The download time is less than a minute. Less time than it'll take you to find your car keys.
-- that whole "free sample" thing? Oh, yes, please.
-- you can shop the Amazon store from the Kindle
-- it holds somewhere around 125,000 books, which is more than even Sarah owns.
-- even if you delete a book from your Kindle, you just download it again from Amazon at no additional charge
-- Sony has come out with a competitive product; always a good thing!
-- it has basic web browsing for a few sites. That's experimental, so we'll see.
-- it has an MP3 player (also experimental) for music or podcasts
-- when it goes into sleep mode, it posts random pictures of authors.
-- bit by bit I can get rid of the books on my shelves and replace them with photos of my boyos.
-- you can highlight passages, underline stuff, and make notes on the pages.
-- I look very cool using it

Here are the downsides I've found so far:
-- it's certainly not cheap. And probably not washing machine safe.
-- there's no back light, so you can't read without a light source. Kinda like a regular book.
-- no New Book Smell. (maybe they'll include that in Kindle 3.0)
-- the artwork is black and white; no color capabilities. Is that a downside for you? Because it isn't for me.
-- I'm having a hard time learning to negotiate my way around. Like finding a certain scripture is difficult.
-- you have no idea how many pages there are in the book, or which page you're currently reading or
-- worst of all, no idea how many pages left until the end of the book.

All in all, my new love is quietly serving me well. I'm happy to be reading again. And I'm really happy to be looking so stinkin' cool while I'm doing it!

In Honor of President's Day

2009-02-16T08:43:00.001-08:00

Cupcakes, folks. The entire thing is made of cupcakes. Personally, I don't think Abe ever looked so sweet. President Obama is on the left.

Figures.

Go here to see the progress.

And the winner is...

2009-02-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

I decided to stay with Verizon. So I upgraded to their iphone wannabee, the Voyager. Must say, I'm loving it. Oh, sure, it lacks all the applications that are available with the iphone, but honestly, I can't remember the last time I had to tune my guitar or find a sushi restaurant. I think I can learn to live without a few bells and whistles.

...at least until the next time I get to upgrade.

Woovie Critic II

2009-02-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

This is Coraline. Sarah and I took the boyos to see it today. It was much much better than, say, running to the car in the icy rain or skidding on the wet sidewalk in your flipflops. I did both of those today, too. Coraline was better.

It's based on a book by Neil Gaiman, and you can read an excerpt here. I had never read the book, but from what I have read in these excerpts, the film follows it fairly closely. Coraline is loved but generally ignored by her workaholic parents. They have recently moved into an old house which has been made into apartments. They share the house with some delightful, quirky characters...two former actresses and their Scottie dogs, and a Russian circus performer who is attempting to establish a mouse circus. One day, while exploring their 150-year-old house, Coraline discovers a small door. In the way of all things mysterious, the door leads to another apartment, identical to her own, inhabited by identical parents (with the single exception that their eyes are buttons.) This Other Mother and Other Father spend all their time with the attention-starved Coraline, playing games, making her favorite dishes, and causing her to feel special and important and loved. They offer her the opportunity to stay with them always, but the hitch -- there's always a hitch, right? -- is that she has to allow them to sew buttons over her eyes. Drama ensues.

The movie is typical Tim Burton. The bad guys are all spindly-legged and spidery. There are Edward Scissorhands moments, and Corpse Bride moments and Willy Wonka moments (not the good Gene Wilder version; the creepy Johnny Depp one). Once the Other Mother revealed her true identity, C-Monkey (nearly 7) got scared. Mr Roboto, who is almost 10, denied being scared, but he's just ever so-o sophisticated, he'd never admit it if he were.

There were some weird things, too. Like a neighbor boy who, for no particular reason, had a hunched back and a Black grandmother. There is a circus scene with a very fat lady bouncing around wearing -- I kid you not! -- sequined pasties and a g-string. Maybe those things are right out of the book, but in the movie they were not explained, and only provided a couple of "Wait, what?" moments.

I loved the first half of this movie. It was quirky, melancholy, and sweet. I enjoyed watching Coraline build relationships with her odd neighbors. It was sad to see her parents ignore her to the point of driving her away. Even her initial discovery of The Other Parents was a fun twist, and it was a joy to see how they valued her. The second half of the film was pretty dark. I don't like seeing kids in danger, and I sure don't like seeing dead kids (oh, yes; three of them). It irritates me when kids talk like grown-ups, and although there was no PG13 language in the movie, there were several occasions when Coraline said, "Oh my God." We don't allow our kids or sub kids to say that, so it was very uncomfortable to hear it from a little girl I had grown to care about.

I have mentioned before that I see A LOT of animated films. I am often drawn into the actual animation...especially the little things like rain drops or animal fur. There is a scene in which Coraline is wearing flannel pjs, and they were so fuzzy! I found myself mesmerized by the fuzz, and wishing I could ask my friend John, Visual FX Guy Extrodinaire, about it.

So my recommendation? Don't take any little kids. Too scary. Too sad. Too many kids in peril, kids hurt, kids threatened, kids dead. I'd say, maybe 8 would be the youngest. And even then, I'd recommend some prep work and some debriefing time.

I mean, come on: sequined pasties?

To i or not to i

2009-02-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

This was my first cellular phone. I got it for my birthday about 75 years ago. It was battleship grey, weighed 20 pounds, had a battery life of 10 minutes, and each phone call cost $27.50. But it was a gadget, and I love gadgets. I was one of a handful of people who carried a phone in my purse, and could call from anywhere (within the coverage area of just over 3 blocks.) Verizon was known back then as AirTouch. We fell in love fast and hard, AirTouch and I. I hauled around that original phone for two years, until my first upgrade, which was smaller, faster, lighter, cheaper... Each time I upgraded, I needed more. More features. More colors. More style. By now I was a junky, hopelessly addicted to the tech.

This is my phone now. As Randy Jackson would say, "It's aiight." It will send and receive calls and texts, takes decent photos like this, and offers all the bells and whistles I have been told I need, like games and music and a GPS navigational system. It has online capabilities. It's orange. It's cute. I should love it. I should.

But it's not an iphone. I'm really longing for an iphone. I want a phone with it's own theme song. I want applications that tell me when to feed the dog and how to do the Running Man. I want touch screens and mp3 players and a shiny shiny chasis.

I can't leave Verizon; I have a family plan which enables my four kids to have their phone service for $10 a month. And our plans are all up at different times, so even if we all switched to ATT&T, it'd cost us a fortune in early cancelation fees. Plus, they'd all think they were entitled to iphones, too. And they'd whine about it until they all got their own. Selfish brats.

There are wars and famine and drought. My home state is facing a financial crisis The Terminator can't bust us out of. But this is what I've chosen to worry about: I'm discontented with my phone.

What a sad, sad little person I am.

Corn Pop Trees

2009-02-05T17:15:00.000-08:00

Every February these trees burst into bloom. The streets are lined with them, and they are glorious. In a few weeks, they begin to lose their blossoms, and we have "snow" in Riverside. When Bethany was little, she called these corn pop trees, because as I mentioned here, she liked to twist her words. When we drove down the street she would announce every single tree: "corn pop tree, corn pop tree, corn pop tree" for blocks and blocks. Every year I think I'll get her one for her birthday, but by the time her birthday comes at the end of April, the blossoms are gone, along with my memory of how beautiful they are. Plus, if I went to the nursery and asked for a corn pop tree, I doubt they'd be able to help me.

Do you know the name of this tree? They are similar to crepe myrtles, but the blooms are different. If you know what the trees are called, please comment below for me.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

2009-02-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

Prepare the taste buds and the stretchy sweat pants. It's pie sale time again.

cherry, berry, peach, apple, rhubarb, french apple, apple lite, blueberry, razzleberry, razzleberry lite, pecan, lemon meringue, custard, chocolate cream, chocolate meringue, chocolate satin, kahlua cream cheese, german chocolate, key lime, lemon cream cheese, double cream lemon, double cream blueberry, coconut cream, coconut meringue, cream cheese

$6.99 + pie tin deposit

Now, I must say, I don't understand folks bringing back their stash of pie tins during the pie sale. The pies are already discounted. Seems to me it's better to save the pie tins for when the pies are NOT on sale. No matter; we'll happily take them any time.

Go get 'em.

The Woovie Critic

2009-01-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

Title explanation which has absolutely nothing to do with the post: When she was little, my youngest daughter had the cutest way of twisting her words. Because she was the baby, we all thought it was adorable, and adopted her diction as our own. We all said "ho-mock" and "corn pop" and "poop dog" and "gee-tow" with her because, gosh darnit, she was just so stinkin' cute. (Her Kindergarten teacher was not amused.) Anyway, she would say "woovie" instead of "movie", and it just stuck with us.

And now, the actual blog post:

Because I'm the grandmother of two little boys, I tend to see a LOT of kids' movies. It's a joy to take my boyos, and watch them watch. Especially now that C-Monkey can actually sit through an entire film without feeling the need to explore the theater from beneath the seats. And occasionally, Mr. Roboto has been able to make it through with only one or two trips to the bathroom. We see every one of the PG or G rated films...some more than once. Animated, fantasy, and those live-action movies with big name stars who used to be famous actors but are now too old for the chick flicks or action adventures, and have found themselves playing the parents of teeth-gratingly annoying children.

I call this "Nap Time for Grammie".

Oh, I've enjoyed a few of them. Kung Fu Panda held my attention. Some of the Pixar stuff is wonderful, and I kind of resent the plot and artwork cutting into my sleep pattern. Last summer's kid fare was just awful for me, as I ranted about here and here.

Yesterday, because I had worked hard at home, and deserved a nice 100 minute nap, I took the guys to see Hotel for Dogs. Have you seen this heart-warming tale? It's about a couple of siblings who have been battered around by the Evil Foster System, and are not candidates for adoption because they are 10 and 16...no longer cute little puppies. (get it? get it? That's just one of the subtle hidden messages in the film)

The story begins with Bruce, the 10-year-old, putting heavy stones into empty cell phone boxes, using the hot air hand dryer at school to shrink wrap them, and passing them on to his sister Andi to sell as new to the pawn shops. Now, I'm quite old, and not up to date on all the hip new jargon the kids use these days, but in my day we called that 'fraud'. Were these kids punished? Not so much. They did go to the police station, but their social worker (Don Cheadle, who used to be a famous actor) got them out on the legal defense of being Adorable Well-dressed Orphans Stuck in the Evil Foster System. Because then theft is quite ok, and there are no consequences for illegal actions. Oh, I see.

The foster parents are Carl and Lois Scudder (Lisa Kudrow who used to be a famous actress), They are scum o' the earth rockers who keep the kitchen cabinets padlocked, and feed the kids twice a day because that's all they're legally required to do. Cereal in the morning and tv dinners at night. Carl and Lois are working hard to perfect their sound; they're going to hit it big. You know without having seen the movie that they are just wretched. Really, a metal version of Smelly Cat would have been an improvement. So the kids are completely on their own to wander the streets. They come across an abandoned luxury hotel which they take over, and commence to appropriate as a home for dozens and dozens of strays. Adding Breaking and Entering to their rap sheet. The Despicable Empire of Animal Control shows up here and there, but the kids always thwart their attempts to capture the strays...once, with the obligatory kick to the crotch.

The kids are gorgeous and brilliant; the adults are caricatures; the stray dogs are all purebreds; the hotel was abandoned but miraculously still has all the furniture and even some clothing left behind by guests; blah blah blah; villains, separation, orphanages, sadness, blah blah, dogs on the loose, blah blah multiple traffic accidents, heroes, redemption, adoption by the good guy, curtain.

It was Home Alone all over again. I hated Home Alone.

Bottom line: The boys LOVED this movie, and me? I liked it a whole lot more than Bride Wars.

We're sad to see him go...

2009-01-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

Don Callender, the innovative powerhouse behind Marie Callender's restaurants, died this week. He was a ball of fire, and will be missed by those men and women who were trained by him to run some of the finest restaurants around. Did you know Claim Jumper, Mimi's and several others were started by people who learned the business from Don? And when we go to the yearly managers' conferences, there is always a group of GMs who get together to reminese about him. Most of them, like my husband, have worked for the company for close to 40 years, so they are full of crazy stories about this energetic, creative man.

I wonder what this year's conference will be like.

Here's an article about Don, from the OC Register.

Thanksgiving at Marie's

2008-11-29T08:07:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures to give you an idea of my last few days.

Shortening, pumpkin dry mix, pumpkin wet mix and stuffing mix. This stack is about 10 feet high. Eventually, the pumpkin mix will become 1500 pumpkin pies.

Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar.

Our wonderful cooks are geared up and ready to go. By the end of the evening, they would create & plate 102 ham dinners and 561 turkey dinners. They also prepared over 80 Feasts (complete dinners for 6-8 all packaged up and ready for the customer to reheat and serve). By the end of the night, they were pretty worn out, but they never ever stopped smiling. What a great crew!

This is a shot of the main server station, with the wait staff getting salads, cornbread and pie slices ready to serve, and the greet staff is putting together a few take-out dinners. And there's a busser running through with a tray of dirty plates. That room can get really small really fast with that many people millling around. I should stay out of there, but that's were all the fun is. I like the fun.

Our dine-in guests had to choose between pumpkin and apple pie. Meanwhile, the customers who came in to purchase whole pies had the entire pie menu from which to choose...35 varieties including 4 kinds of apple, 3 kinds of lemon, 4 different chocolates, and 6 cheesecakes. And banana. Oh my, yes.

Tina is carrying 4 slices of pie on her arm. How do they DO that?

Angel and Matt were still in the back of the house making more stuff. And smiling. Have I mentioned how great our staff is? I just love these guys!

A few extra pumpkin and apple pies for our dine-in guests. No one will leave hungry!

We don't use the salad bar on Thanksgiving, so I decorate it with lots of fall-ish things. So pretty. See the rooster in the front? He was a hit!

Here's Kevin running the dishwasher. He wore a smile all day. Except when he dropped an entire bus tray and busted a dozen plates. Right in front of the Big Boss. Yikes!

The salad station after about 20 minutes. Be very glad I didn't post a picture of the FLOOR!

I forgot to take a picture of the stack of $20 bills I got to take to the bank yesterday. It was purdy.

So that was my Thanksgiving. How about yours?

Guess who I ran into the other day...

2008-11-29T07:52:00.001-08:00

Yeah, it was a brand-new Mercury Grand Marquis with less than 5,000 miles on it, driven by a 80 year-old-lady. Boy, did she yell at me...

...because obviously I did it on purpose.

It only makes sense...

2008-11-29T07:47:00.000-08:00

Even the rich folks who ride around in limos enjoy a chili dog now and then...

Just in case

2008-10-13T08:03:00.000-07:00

I heard you couldn't see the poster. Sorry.

As fair warning, the movie was Quarantine. Keep your $8.50.

Only twice in my life....

2008-10-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

...have I walked out of a movie. This made the third time.

So awful I cannot think of enough adjectives.

I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it...

2008-10-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

For the past month, I have been getting these phone calls from some 800 number. The read-out says unavailable, and as a policy, I don't answer phone calls that don't have any identification. That's the reason they invented the answering machine. So I hadn't been answering. But they call at least 5-7 times a day, at various times throughout the day and late into the evening. And even if the phone goes to voicemail, they don't leave a message. When I finally decided to answer so I could tell whoever it was to stop the stinkin' phone calls, they hung up as soon as I said hello. This has happened like 10 times. Anyway, they called again this morning at 8-are-you-kidding-me-AM, and per usual, hung up when I answered. Enough. So I called them back, and kept pressing zero until I got to an actual human. By then, I was so angry I had to do breathing exercises to keep from ripping into the poor guy. (inhale) He's just trying to earn a living. (exhale) It's not his fault his stupid company is harassing me. (Deep breath in...hold it....slowly out. OK.) Now...who are you? Why is your company calling me 5 times a day, not leaving a message or responding when I answer, and in the name of all that is holy, make it stop.

Turns out, one of my beloved brood is late on her department store bill, and would I, please-oh-please-oh-pretty-please go to my local store and pay them $30 before the 10th?

I told him I'd pass the information on to the kid, but that she is an adult, didn't live with me, recently moved and no, I do not have her new address or her work phone number. (I do, but heck if I was going to give it to him; I was still mad in spite of my excellent breathing) And I added that the phone calls were rude, intrusive and have become harassing. The calls would stop NOW. I took his name and operator number, and assured him if I got another call from them I would take action.

Between you and me, that action would probably be to disconnect the phone altogether and drive over it repeatedly with my car.

But don't tell him, OK? I think I've got him scared.

And I kind of like that.

a well-informed media, part II

2008-09-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

The Weather Channel reporters, bless their hearts, wear their Official Weather Persons Windbreaker with such pride as they brave 140 mph winds and side-ways rainstorms. These are the heroes of the weather persons army.

Here in Southern California, where summer goes on and on and on, and where winter hits us hard on November 17th, and lasts from 3pm til 4:15 pm with temperatures dropping as low as 53 degrees, our weather persons only get to report 4 kinds of weather.
1. Hot. Really really really hot. We refer to this weather as "normal". The senior weather persons are too smart (or highly paid) to leave their air conditioned offices to report on the ridiculous heat, so they send the rookies out to the field, usually Blythe. (Blythe -- Average mean temperature 114 degrees. In the shade. At night. In January. Indoors.) The rookie's job is to report that we all need to flex our power, and turn down the AC and stop watering the lawn. So we go to the nice cool Multiplex and watch hours and hours of disaster movies. If the mercury reaches 110, we might even watch a Pauly Shore film. This is known as a "weather emergency."
2. Fire. This may be God's way of suggesting we not build houses in the Malibu Canyon because it spoils His view. Our weather persons call it "Fire Storm Watch 2008." The graphics and music departments design some very dramatic artwork and stirring music. We are glued to the television watching the tankers dip into the lakes and ocean for water to drop on the flames. Oh, then there are the typical interviews: the crotchety old fogey who refuses to evacuate, because he's lived in this canyon for 75 years, dadgumit, and he's not going anywhere; the rich guy who thinks he can keep the fire from his 8000 square foot home by using the lawn sprinklers and a garden hose; and the lady with her yappy little dog blocking the road with her Toyota Celica so the fire trucks can't navigate.
3. Rain. Our typical 1/4" deluge is known as "Storm Watch 2008". It is the delight of all the weather persons, because they get to put on the Official Weather Persons' Windbreaker and stand in the rain on the edge of the previously burned-out Malibu Canyon to describe the houses sliding down into the ocean. Since these houses are owned by people like Charlie Sheen and Sandra Bullock, we wait hopelessly for a glimpse of a famous person running out of their house in a ratty "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt and a side pony tail.
4. Earthquake. Not really a weather condition, but boy howdy, we really like these. If you just happen to be watching a local news show when an earthquake hits and the newscasters dive under the news desk, it's considered a personal coup. If your TiVo is going, you might score yourself a YouTube exclusive.

a well-informed media

2008-09-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

I heard a reporter refer to the Republican nominee as John McClane. Now, he would DEFINITELY get my vote!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2008-08-21T13:11:00.000-07:00

We probably spent 37% of our cruise either going to eat, thinking about eating, having a snack or meal, talking about what we ate, wishing we hadn't eaten so much, or wondering when we'd eat next. Come along as we are...

...waiting to eat...
...enjoying Animator's Palate
...providing a little dinner music
...checking out the menu
...running out of hands
...grieving over our Mickey Mouse waffles
...discussing the size of the steak
...planning tomorrow's breakfast at Parrot's Cay
...snacking on Pinocchio's Pizza to tide us over between meals
...Cam's rocking the soup
...sharing? There will be no sharing, Aunt Bee!
Sometimes you have to make it yourself
How many desserts did you order?
Golden Mickeys Awards Dinner
Hiding under the table with a hunk of bread
Here's something pretty...maybe a salad?
This is not what s'mores looked like in Girl Scouts
A non-Marie Callender's lemon meringue (good, but ours is better!)
Something with chocolate over chocolate with chocolate syrup
Cheesecake, of course
ummm...your guess is a good as mine
Ryan asked for creme brule and they gave him two! (He ate 'em)
Look at Bethany ordering meat on a bone that wasn't cow. Isn't she big? She even tasted a little bit. Mama's so proud of her!Bethany and I even tasted a bit of Krista's swordfish. Yay, us! (it'll never happen again)
Whew, taking a break between meals

And the winner is...

2008-08-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

Our cruise took place during an interesting week. Lots of things happening in the world. We certainly had access to the news. Because Disney owns ABC, we weren't able to watch the Olympics on NBC. (we substituted the Wii Olympics...still lots of fun & it came with hot wings and nachos, but no opening ceremonies) We followed the sudden death of Bernie Mac, the invasion of Georgia, and John Edward's "mistake."* Another interesting aspect of that week was that nearly all of the summer reality shows had their finales. Before we left, I made sure the TiVo would record all those finales, then I carefully avoided any news report that might refer to the winners. Imagine my surprise when I learned that the media considers a war to be more pressing news than the Next HGTV Design Star!

By the way, may God bless and keep the inventor of TiVo, and may he and his descendants live long and prosper. Also, the fellow who came up with the oscillating fan. Love you, man,

Anyway, Monday morning I arose very early, and began watching the finales. Oh, yes; and God bless the inventor of the fast forward button.

Design Star: Loved them both. Thrilled that she won. But I would have TiVo'd his shows.

America's Best Dance Crew: semi-finals. Can I really stand one more week of Li'l Mama and her outlandish grammar? Oh, I do love the fast forward button!

Nashville Star: YES! Melissa rocks. I've already downloaded her single.

So You Think You Can Dance: Once Will was eliminated, I didn't really care who won. LOVED Katee, but I'm happy with adorable Joshua.

The Mole: My first year to watch this show, and I was confused a LOT. But I had Craig pegged as The Mole from week 3. I'm glad Mark won because he's a caring husband & father, and had expressed that his desire was for his wife to be a stay-at-home mom to their 4 kids. Awww...

Shear Genius: hasn't ended yet. Kinda too bad. What a bunch of divas.

Project Runway: just barely started. Yay! What a bunch of divas.

Oh, reality television...I confess I missed you more than my dog. You entertain me, you challenge me, you are ever interesting. Plus you don't shed on the furniture.

*Dear Mr. Edwards, A "mistake" is when you mismatch your socks or forget to add salt to the potato salad. Your actions were premeditated, selfish, sneaky, and purposeful. Shame on you.

Once Upon a Dream

2008-08-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

We just got home from our 7-night vacation aboard the Disney Magic. We cruised the Mexican coast, and visited Cabo, Mazatlan and Puerto Vallerta. Here are a few of the hundreds of photos we took.Isn't she a beauty? When she pulls out of port, her horn blasts the first seven notes of "When You Wish Upon A Star."

Greeted by Minnie at the Port of Los Angeles. Hey, we aren't even on board yet...has anyone seen Cameron?I teared up a little when they announced over the loudspeaker, "Disney Magic, welcome the Lopez Family!" It was Ryan's first cruise. It won't be his last.Lifeboat drills really take it out of me. Well, aren't we supposed to relax on this cruise? I'll wake up in time for dinner...maybe.

Robbie and Cam hit the pools before we had set the luggage down. And they stayed in one or the other of the pools for most of the trip. They are very clean...and wrinkly.Live theater included original musicals, magicians, and comedians. We also saw Wall-E in the Buena Vista Theater. And they premiered Swing Vote.Here's Bethany reading her book. I think she finished 3 or 4 entire pages before the book was stuck back in the bag and Bethany decided she could read at home.
Hanging out on the deck. We're all red and crispy today.Cam is watching pods of whales and flying fish.

Chef Robs made salsa. Is it bueno, Robs?
Look at Ryan parasailing! Without a hard hat!
We snorkled...
...and went "cow-wacking" (thanks, Cam; that is now and forever part of the family's lexicon!)
We hiked to a waterfall with Yelapa nationals. (I didn't go; instead I slipped getting into the water taxi and broke several toes. I didn't take a picture of my black/blue/purple foot. You're welcome.
We had a few "sea days" to just relax and hang out.
Oh, yes; we ate.
And we ate.
And ate some more.
And just to be safe, we ate a little bit more.

Thanks, Disney Magic. We had a wonderful vacation.
See You Real Soon!

Take a breath and chill

2008-07-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is August first. That means the Great Thanksgiving Gearing Up begins at our restaurant. We typically sell about 10,000 pies in the span of 2 days! So now we begin. The holiday pie boxes will be ordered, along with the extra million cans of pumpkin. The typical foothills of flour and sugar bags will soon rival Everest. Pie order cards will be sent to the printers. Employee training classes will be scheduled. It's an insane, fun time of year. Everyone works so hard, and surprisingly, the cooperation level increases. And so do the Crazy Customer stories. Here's one of my favorites.

It was Thanksgiving morning, and the line for pies went around the building. In that line was this fellow: 50-something white guy, about 5'2", nasty little grey beard, camo pants, black lace-up boots, black eagle t-shirt, camo billed cap covered with various sharpshooter pins. Can you see him? Don't you just know this guy woke up that morning with a really BAD attitude, and was looking for someone to bully. He had come in the evening before (with no pie reservation) and we were out of pumpkin pie. That happens maybe twice during the holiday season, and when it does there usually will be a rack of 160 of them, fresh out of the oven, cooling in the freezer...so we don't hand a customer a box of molten pie. You're welcome.

Well, GI Joe was still mad (because you know, we really DID have a bunch of pumpkin pies, but we were HIDING them, just to tick him off. Only him. No one else.) He decided he wanted someone (read: me) to feel the heat of his ire. So he got in my face...actually my neck...and snarls, "What would you do if I decided to storm this place in front of all these customers?"

"Storm this place"? Seriously? STORM a restaurant? with 50 employees running around and 100 customers standing in line? Over an eight-dollar pie?

So I smiled my sweetest smile, and in my very best the-customer-is-always-right voice I said, "Well, sir, I would call the police and have your butt dragged off to jail. In front of all these customers. Sir."

He got all puffed up and blustery, and demanded my name because he was going to call corporate the next day and report my ill-mannered behavior. Again I smiled, "Let me give you my business card so that when you call to tell on me, you get my name right. You will not come into MY restaurant, and threaten the safety of MY employees and MY customers. Now here's your pie. You will leave this building, and do not ever come back to this restaurant. Oh, and have a lovely Thanksgiving. Sir."

We haven't seen him since. He's probably down the street terrorizing Coco's.

Na na na na NAH na...you say it's your birthday

2008-07-31T13:49:00.000-07:00

I started this blog a year ago today. Reading back through the posts has been an interesting ride...so much has changed. A blog is like a newsy Christmas letter (Dirty Little Geekret: I LOVE newsy Christmas letters!) and I have enjoyed my little walk down memory lane. Here's to another year. May our blog numbers increase as more and more join the ranks.

Too Much Time on His Hands

2008-07-28T14:23:00.000-07:00

If I were a member of the idle rich, and if I had endless time, and if I had a bit of artistic talent......no; I still wouldn't do this.

Another Fail-safe Recipe from the Uncook

2008-07-26T14:38:00.000-07:00

Honestly, there is not much I enjoy less than meal prep. I dislike planning menus, I don't like the grocery store, I detest schlepping the bags of groceries home and into the house, I am not a fan of the whole wash-prep-store stage, I am insecure about that tricky heating process, I do NOT like the mess of pots and pans and plates, and I honestly don't really even like eating all that much. If I lived alone, I'd develop a deep, abiding relationship with the cereal aisle. Cheerios would become my passion. Raisin Bran would be my raison d'etre. Tony the Tiger would be my Number One guy.

Perhaps one of the great ironies of my life is that I LOVE the Food Network. I've never cooked a single thing I've seen on it, but I love it nonetheless. It's my version of the romance novel.

Anyway, here's my mom's meatloaf recipe. It's one of 2 or 3 recipes she left me, (I get my "I Hate to Cook" DNA from her) and it's a pleaser.

2# ground meat
2 eggs
15 saltine crackers, crushed
Bell pepper, diced (I don't like it, so I put in about 1/4 cup)
Onion, diced (or shake in some dry stuff)
Seasoning salt (maybe 2 tablespoonsful...I like this stuff)
Pepper (to taste. I like lots of this, too)
1 small can Tomato sauce (reserve some for the top)

Moosh it all together in a big bowl, and press it into your loaf pan. Make a nice moat around the outside -- you'll need it to collect the grease. Bake it at 375 for about 45 minutes, then top it with the reserved tomato sauce, and bake it another 10-15 minutes. Dump the grease, slice it up, serve it with baked potatoes and green salad.

Nana would be so proud.

All the little birds on J-Bird street...

2008-07-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

We went to see The Wizard of Oz (starring Bill Dickson as The Bass Player) last night. What a greeting we got when we arrived home!...can you see where the bunnies ate my lawn? bad, bad bunnies...Thanks, MOPS!

(photos by Robbie)

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

2008-07-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

Today I drove to work by way of the San Timoteo Canyon, through snow flurries. Sure, it was about 85 degrees. Apparently, yesterday was the birthday of a zillion little white moths, and they celebrated by dancing through the canyon. So pretty!

I do NOT want to look at the grill of my car...

My Summer Romance

2008-07-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

I've finished Season 1 of Bones; now I am beginning Sports Night. And on the trusted recommendation of Adam, who labeled it "best show ever to make it to network tv", I'm starting Firefly. So far, it's kind of Sanford and Son Are Saving Private Ryan from the Deathstar. Burn Notice is up for next week.

I'm starting Firefly right now. Hey, is that fellow playing Captain Mal Brendon Fraser's stunt double?

See the USA in your Chevrolet...

2008-07-20T22:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Sarah asked me to go to Raceway Ford to look at a Kia minivan with her. We decided to stop by two little used car lots near our homes before we drove to Raceway. We are among a large part of the Riverside population that has had memorable experiences at Raceway...and not in a good way! Anyway, the first place had the consumate used car salesman: loud, patterned shirt and shiny pleated dress pants, tassles on his loafers. When Sarah asked if he had for anything for $5000, he answered, "Yes, I sure do. I have this one for just $7400, and this one for $6800." Hmmm. good math skills, fella.

The second guy had a little white Chevy Malibu he would sell her for $5000. It needed a new manifold gasket, which he is having his mechanic fix tomorrow. He is including a 50/50 warranty, which means if anything goes wrong in the next 30 days, he'll split the cost of repairs.

I think she's making her best choice. She's very excited. She told me Bill asked if I could go with her when she went back to pay for the car, because even though they are adults, it would be nice to have a "grown up" go with her. But I didn't go. I went out to dinner with Krista instead. Sarah was a grown up all by herself.

Isn't she big?

Mr. Barbeque

2008-07-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

I'll probably never ever do this because it involves touching meat with something other than a knife and fork (ew), but I think it's very cool. Someone try it and tell me if it works.

I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me...

2008-07-17T23:39:00.000-07:00

Tonight Robbie was playing a Mario game on the Wii, and at one point, he warped to a different level. Remember the sound of a Mario warp ... think back, back, back into your childhood memory ... got it?

So is it just me, or is that the same bomp-bomp sound at the beginning of Law and Order?

Why? Because we LIKE you!

2008-07-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

My homage to the Hidden Mickey.

How do you say "Kablooey" in Hindi?

2008-07-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

Today I was copying a CD into my itunes. Things were going quite well, when suddenly there was a loud CRACK! and little bits of shiny silver plastic rained down all over my carpet.

If you need me tomorrow, I'll be on the phone to India.

Inadequate Words

2008-07-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

My friends lost their little 3 1/2 year old daughter this week. They put her to bed with kisses and hugs and lovies and stories, and when they went in to get her up the next morning, she was gone.

Dearest Mommy and Daddy, dearest Aunties and Uncles, dearest Grammies and Grandpas...my heart truly knows your pain. I walked through this valley five years ago, and if I learned anything that I can teach you, it would be my privilege to pass it on to you. It's your journey now, but you do not travel alone. Remember that the same God you glorified the day Karissa was born, is the same God who loved and supported you through the health problems and diagnoses, is the same God who holds you now.

This song holds me up. I pray it does the same for you.

Glory Baby
by Watermark

Glory Baby, You slipped away
As fast as we could say "baby"
You were growing, what happened, dear?
You disappeared on us baby, baby
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you

But we'll miss you everyday, we'll miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you
But baby, let sweet Jesus hold you
Until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it
'Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people
Through the growing, and in knowing
All things work together for our good
And God works His purposes
Just like He said he would

I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I can rest in knowing that heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know, all you'll ever know

We miss you everyday, we'll miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you
But baby, let sweet Jesus hold you
Until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Near, far, wherever you are

2008-07-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

When I was in the 6th grade, part of our core curriculum included a subject we called music. (I know; I'm very very old.) We performed folk dances like the Virginia Reel, studied great art, and learned songs from all over the world. My favorite was the Canadian national anthem, which I still find myself singing whenever I hear it played. Admittedly, that's not often, but sometimes the random Canadian will win an ice-or-snow-related Olympic event, and I'll start belting out "O Canada, my home and native land."

It never occurred to me that I was avowing my allegiance to a country other than my own. I just really like that kind of loyalist, patriotic song. (Last week I was driving down the 215 singing my high school alma mater at the top of my lungs, but that's another story) This music makes my heart swell, my throat constrict, my eyes mist. You can keep your sappy love songs, and give me a marching band and a rousing version of Hail to the Chief.

This weekend, the Praise Ensemble is singing God Bless America, as recorded by French-Canadian Celine Dion. I wonder if she ponders the irony of singing a blatantly pro-USA song, or if she --like me-- simply loves to sing that kind of bold, strongly nationalistic, lump-in-the-throaty kind of music.

Blue and white we hold before us
As our song we raise
O Ramona, alma mater of our high school days

((sob))

Stand beside her, and guide her...

2008-07-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

It is the American sound. It is hopeful, big-hearted, idealistic, daring, decent, and fair. That's our heritage; that is our song. We sing it still. For all our problems, our differences, we are together as of old, as we raise our voices to the God who is the Author of this most tender music. And may He continue to hold us close as we fill the world with our sound—sound in unity, affection, and love—one people under God, dedicated to the dream of freedom that He has placed in the human heart, called upon now to pass that dream on to a waiting and hopeful world. God bless you and may God bless America.

from Ronald Reagan's 2nd Inaugural Address, January 21, 1985

You're so fine, you blow my mind...

2008-07-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

We'll be on the Magic cruising the waters of Mexico when the Olympics begin. I can't wait to see what the cast and crew do for the opening ceremonies! I promise to take lots of pictures to post when we get home.

Yo homes, smell ya later

2008-07-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hancock: Bad. Awful. Terrible. Dreadful. No redeeming qualities. The best line in the whole fiasco was the one at the box office. I should have gone to see Wall-E instead.

Save your $7.50. In fact, wait 'til it's on video, then don't rent it.

Flow it, show it, long as I can grow it...

2008-07-02T22:45:00.000-07:00

Shear Genius has begun. It's a typical reality show...lots of bleeped words, lots of less-than-macho men, lots of infighting, lots of blatant product placement. This time, instead of singing or dancing or yodeling or designing Barbie's ballgown/tennis togs, they're cutting and coloring and styling hair.

As with all programs of this genre, every single one of the contestants thinks they are The Next Great Thing--Just Wait Til Jennifer Aniston Sees What I Can Do while everyone else is a sad little mistake.

I'm pining for Tim Gunn.

Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

2008-07-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

Ferris is on The View today, and his hair is getting GRAY! He's going the way of The Fonz.

I laughed, I cried...it became a part of me

2008-06-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

Every summer I have a little love affair with the good people at NetFlix. One year I enjoyed an Alias marathon followed by a very intense few days immersed in 24. I lived and breathed Gilmore Girls. And I even gave Smallville a try...but in spite of how cute Lex Luthor is, no thanks. This summer, I'm starting off with Bones.

What's next? Any suggestions?

The Future is Now

2008-06-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

Seen on the back of a pool guy's truck:

"We Speak English"

I don't have a pool, but I wrote his number down just in case.

...go together in perfect har-mo-ny

2008-06-25T23:10:00.000-07:00

I got so weary of never finding the proper cord to charge the electronic gadget du jour. So I made myself a special little spot where all the chargers live. And, yes; I labeled them.

Hey, who are you callin' OCD?

Check out the hook while my dj revolves it

2008-06-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

It had been a lovely evening...dinner with friends; a challenging lesson at church; a trip to Golden Spoon (raspberry!) We walked into the house and heard a strange roary/hummy/zzzz-y noise. Never a good thing. The kitchen floor was flooded with very very cold water and about a million ice cubes. Apparently, while we were out, the Ice Fairy decided to play fast and loose with the automatic ice maker. It wouldn't shut off. We had to completely disable the system.

First thing tomorrow: Hi, is this Sears appliance repair?

Just for Rob and Wayne!

2008-06-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

I know I just linked to the Stuff Christians Like blog page a post or two ago, but I really really want Rob and Wayne to read this post specifically. It's tech crew haiku. What could be better than that, I ask you.

And guys? Read every single comment. You will love them all, I promise. You will find yourself over and over and over. And I betcha there will be more than a couple of them that make you think, "Hey, I'm totally USING that one!" (Not on me, ok?)

...and the livin' is easy.

2008-06-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Summer's only begun, yet it's shaping up to be a goodie for the boyos. They are loving their Adventures in Science camp. It's a half-day class at a local elementary school where, so far this week, they've made electromagnets, helicopters, circuits, power buzzers, pneumatic dump trucks, thermometers, and glow-in-the-dark goop. Today they put together all they have learned to create their very own working invention. They have three more week-long sessions, each one dealing with a different aspect of science...rockets, sports, and detective stuff.

In addition to science camp, there's a week of knight-themed VBS. They'll be camping for a week with their dad over the Fourth of July. And at the end of summer, we're going on the Disney Magic for a week of cruising.

I want to be my grandson.

CAN. NOT. FIND. THE. COOL.

2008-06-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

The mall? Sometimes. But who wants to hang out there all day?
The car? No. Not until you've driven for 10 miles at $4.96 a gallon.
At work? Not in my closet of an office. Although...

Ahhhhh. The walk-in freezer. Nice.

Meanwhile

2008-06-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

While you're waiting for me to have some brilliant moment of creativity, enjoy my current favorite blog, Stuff Christians Like. Betcha five dollars you see yourself in more than a few of his very funny posts. Not only is this guy a really clever writer, he is always looking for new ideas, so feel free to comment with the wacky stuff that one guy at your church does. You know the guy I'm talking about. Yes, him. We all seem to have the same little quirks...let's celebrate them. Enjoy!

Some examples, just to get you curious:
#292 Eating the homemade VBS play doh
#284 Willow Tree Figures
#260 Drawing in the bulletin
#243 Going through "seasons"
#237 Tipping at restaurants with a tract
#235 Confessing things around a campfire

Blog update...

2008-06-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, Sue. Let's agree here.

Are we going to do this blog thing or not. Because if we are, we need to commit to writing 3-5 posts each and every week. If we are not going to do it, then let's just get over ourself and pull the thing down altogether.

You decide.

(does this one count?)

My Dirty Little Geekret, Part...um...next

2008-05-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

Hidden Objects games on my computer. I'd like to go to Best Buy and have the Geek Squad add some memory to my laptop, but I'm embarrassed by the number of downloaded games. Usually I download the free hour trial, and if I don't like the game or if I'm feeling parsimonious I don't buy it. But the trial offer is still taking up space.

Hmmm...that's Huntsville up there. I don't have that game yet. 'Scuse me, would you please? I have some important computer stuff to do.

Don't tell the Geeks

This is really two blogs in one...what a bargain

2008-05-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

PART I
We Christians, who are supposed to be generously carrying the name of Christ into all the world, who are supposed to show His Glory through our love and behavior? We stink as customers. We are typically loud and pushy and arrogant and stingy.

The worst place we exhibit this "sanctified" behavior is in a restaurant. We're famous for tipping 5% or less. Sometimes we don't tip at all; instead we'll lovingly leave a tract, because we know the server's soul is worth more than some measly tip. And what better way to share Christ's love than with a clever presentation of the 4 spiritual laws. My favorite tract is one that appears to be a folded $5 bill, but when you open it up it says, "Disappointed? You'll never be disappointed with Jesus!" Wow, this fun and delightful tract causes the server to immediately fall to his/her knees and make a confession of faith, because some Christian went the extra mile to buy that 25 cent tract, carry it to the restaurant, and leave it on the table instead of a gratuity. We should each buy a case of those tracts and leave them (instead of a tip) at every restaurant we patronize, because I know how the servers respond to such a display of Christian love. And besides, they are getting paid to do this job, right? They're making an entire $8.00 an hour, so they certainly don't need any tip. What they NEED is a religious tract. Yeah. That's just what they need.

My friend Diane says if you're going to bow your head to pray over a meal in a restaurant, you'd better be prepared to leave a 20% tip. Because, she says, you have called attention to the fact that you serve God, and you must not shame Him by being cheap with the gratuity. Servers are watching for real Christian behavior. They don't see much of it.

PART II
You probably know this, but it's true that Mother's Day is the busiest day in the restaurant biz. The only people who DON'T go out to dinner on that day are restaurant people, because we know better.

At Marie's, our Mother's Day was great...busy, happy, wonderful food. Just one teeny fly in the ointment: we had a "customer incident", which is restauranteze for "Dang, someone got hurt; do you think they'll sue?" Here's what happened.

A sweet old lady in a wheelchair came in for our brunch, straight from church. She was wearing her Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes and her lovely old cross brooch. Now, when I say old lady, visualize Methuselah's mom. She had filo dough skin, you know? like, so thin you can see bones and stuff through it. And her arms were covered with red and purple bruising as though she'd come to California by way of Katrina. Anyway, when she was coming out of the bathroom stall, she scraped the back of her hand, and it just removed that filo dough skin like peeling away a layer of onion. Not much bleeding, but it was really sore, and she was, naturally, upset. Me, too. I dropped to my knees by her chair, bandaged her hand, hugged and patted her. I repeatedly apologized and reassured her. I asked her if I could pray for her, which she gladly accepted. (later, I would be accused of having "an attitude")

Her daughter and son, those good moral Christian people, seeing this as an opportunity to make some money, never once showed her concern or compassion, but instead started threatening me, and accusing me of "inconsideration" because she had injured her hand.

Let me just say this in my defense: I did not wake up Sunday morning and say to myself, "Hmm. I wonder how I can show inconsideration today. I know! I'll ambush the bathroom stalls so some pathetic old lady will scrape the hide off her hand! Yes, that's just what I'll do. Mwah ha ha!" then I twirled my handlebar mustache.

Oh, they'll sue for sure. You know they have some slick ADA lawyer on speed dial just for occasions like this. Poor mom. She's being beat up far worse by her obnoxious children that she was by our inconsiderate bathroom stall. I wish I had a nice tract to give them.

Just in case...

2008-05-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

...in case you were one of the 3 people still following my posts about Uncle Alvin's trip, here's the update. He got here, and he got home. blah blah blah. I got so tired of his dismal reaction to all things California, I just couldn't face typing another post.

The rest of his story is truly tragic. Uncle Alvin was pastoring a small Lutheran congregation in Minnesota as he finished his seminary education. On the day of his graduation, he was at a school picnic, and drowned. My mother-in-law was just a teenager, and had lost her mother only a few years earlier. It's amazing to me what a sunny, delightful person my m/i/l was, having come from such a family of sad, sad people.

I have copies of all Uncle Alvin's sermons. I promise I won't post any of them.

The Brilliant Mrs Lopez!

2008-05-16T21:00:00.001-07:00

Krista earned her Master's Degree from the School of Education, Point Loma Nazarene University. We couldn't be prouder!

Looky looky

2008-05-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

Sarah and the guys gave me a birdbath for Mother's Day/birthday. It looks so sweet in my flower bed. The birds are enjoying it, too!

This is what Bethany gave me. She put a journal subject on every other page. Like, "Write out the words of your favorite praise song" and "Tell me a memory from your wedding day". She is pretty amazing, isn't she?
UPDATE: OK, no photo. It's a Moleskine notebook. Am I cool or what?

Thank you, beloved family! You are the best gifts of all!

Go Go Gadget ... gone

2008-05-16T20:41:00.000-07:00

I'm unable to Twitter. I am the Queen of Newfangled Toys, so you can imagine how much this bugs me. I've done everything they ask me to do, but it simply doesn't work. On the other hand, it worked for about 2 days, and I seriously considering throwing my phone out the window on the 215.

Maybe this is better.

And we're back.

2008-05-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

I knew I'd been gone for awhile. Frankly, Uncle Alvin's posts threw me into a chasm of depression; the man honestly didn't like ANYTHING! But I had no idea it'd been an entire month since I blogged. Well, I'm back with a few end-of-season wrap ups. I have mentioned before that I am a reality TV junkie, and life has been full. Shall we begin?

1. America's Next Top Model...yeah, they were all obnoxious, but at least Whitney had a voice that didn't cause me to emit continuous uncontrolled erk erk noises. My goal in life is to be as "plus sized" as she is!

2. Beauty and the Geek...yay, Tom! He wasn't nearly as dweebful as most have been, but the plethora of argyle sweater vests surely gave him nerd status. By the way, I think the use of the word "plethora" put me right there with him.

3. Survivor...sorry; dozed off. The good news? Since she's already been on two seasons, Parvati probably won't be back again. Please.

Finales still to come:
Top Chef...yeah, I don't cook. At all. And I really don't like most foods. But it's just cool to watch them design and plate those weird combinations. And the head judge, Tom Colicchio? Totally cool bald guy.

American Idol...David is a sweetie and hugely talented. David, on the other hand, is a sweetie and hugely talented. I voted last year (for Blake) and I'll probably vote again this year. For David.
**does anybody else out there keep calling that one guy "David C. Cook"?

Step It Up and Dance...wow, Jessie Spano looks GOOD, friends and neighbors. Except, of course, for those creepy bulgy Pomeranian eyes. In one episode, she started to cry and I was seriously concerned that one might pop right out and get stuck in her cleavage. Oh, and there are dancers, too.

The 2008 Presidential Primaries...great fun. I'll be voting for Blake again.

Coming Attractions:
So You Think You Can Dance...(starts in 6 days and 15 minutes) I can't wait to see if Sex comes to the auditions again. He's just beyond erk erk-ness. I'd like it better if Mary never screamed again, but I've got a pretty fast mute button finger. Does anyone know if we have run out of Schwimmers yet?

Project Runway...(starts in July) They've had to dress dogs, Barbie dolls, prom queens, lady wrestlers, Miss America contestants, and moms. Who's next? I'll be watching.

Summer Olympics...(starts in 83 days) We will be spending the first week of the summer Olympics on the Disney Magic, floating around the Mexican Rivera. I can't wait to see what the Diz folks will do to celebrate the Olympics! Goofy in his basketball jersey, Minnie on the balance beam, Cap'n Jack's synchonized swimming routine...I will report in full.

What's your tone?

2008-04-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

I have different ring tones for different areas of my life. For Sarah: "California Dreamin'" because she is a Mama...and much of the time, she is a Papa, too. Krista: "Do You Believe in Magic?" because one Halloween she dressed up like a wizard, and we called her Magic Johnson (I'd love to tell you about what she said to the actual Magic Johnson when she met him...but then she'd have to kill me. Just a hint: it had something to do with his surname.) Bethany is my southpaw. Her ringtone is Beyonce's "Irreplaceable", which begins "to the left, to the left". If someone calls from home, Daughtry strikes up "I'm goin' home, to the place where I belong." A call from work is (of course) "I Love I Love I Love My Callendar Girl". Anyone from church: "Let My Lifesong Sing to You". My wake-up call: "Wake Up, Little Suzie".

Fess up: What's your ringtone line up? And what silly little gadgets does your phone have? Do you use any of the extras? What's your most embarassing download?

Hey, Moms!

2008-04-09T08:25:00.000-07:00

For all you mommies who really really enjoy spending creative time with the kidlets, check out The Crafty Crow blogsite. She offers tons of clever ideas for stuff to do with the kids...games, crafts, cooking, etc...and brings them to her website with links and photos. She offers several ideas each day, and her history breaks it all down into multiple catagories (age, indoor vs outdoor, materials used, theme, etc). She also includes book suggestions and links to other similar sites. Good stuff. Really, really good stuff.

Let me know what you think!

Road Trip, vol. 14

2008-03-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

A note to the reader: It might interest you to know that Uncle Alvin, at the time of this trip, was a seminary student, and pastor of a small Minnesota congregation. I am reserching the other 3 boys, but I suspect they were also college kids.

Sunday January 22, 1933 The next morning being Sunday we slept a little longer than usual but got up in time to go to church at Trinity M. E. Church, which was the one the Lehnerts and Borchardts attended. The district superintendent was there that Sunday and preached though I was rather disappointed over the sermon itself. The singing was quite good but the most striking thing about it all was the very friendly spirit of all the people in the church. Everybody it seemed came up to us and shook hands and wished us well.

That afternoon we went over to Borchardts and then went driving around with the same party as the night before except that Agnes and Pearl were not along. All seven of us rode in Milton’s car so we were very crowded. We first drove out to Roosevelt Memorial Park where we heard part of the organ concert, including Mother McCree and the The Glowworm. The organ is enclosed in quite a large structure about 50 or 60 feet long and probably 40 or 50 feet wide. One side of it is open except for iron bars, this of course being the front of it. The organ itself could not be seen but when one stood right up to the front of the building the music was so loud a person could hardly stand it. The organist was in a glassed-in dugout perhaps a hundred feet away from the building. The keyboard of the organ was the most intricate of any I have ever seen. It was a Wurlitzer organ and one of the largest in the United States.

We then drove on through rather hilly country out to Long Beach and then to the breakwater. We walked out on this for a ways as far as the boardwalk went, where the rest of the party stopped except we four boys. We went out perhaps half a mile further to enjoy the ocean air. Some of the navy ships were anchored quite close to the breakwater so we could gain a very good view of them. Most of them were hospital ships or others besides battleships and cruisers, though when we got out farther we came close to a battleship. They certainly were large ships and as we all know, very expensive. There were a few freighters and at least one passenger ship moving about in the harbor that day, too.
We could see Catalina Island from the breakwater, though it was very distant.

Towards evening we drove along Long Beach and saw a few passenger ships at berth. One of them had been partially destroyed by fire a while before. After darkness had fallen we drove out on a circle of land which shut off a bathing beach. From there we could see two gambling ships beyond the three mile limit. They were all lighted up with electric lights so they would be conspicuous, and their purpose was certainly achieved. We then walked through their amusement center there, sort of a Coney Island, and just looked the thing over for a while. There was nothing else to do so we went back home.

Road Trip, vol. 13

2008-03-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

January 21, 1933 The next morning, also cloudy, we again went out to Hollywood and drove up to the Japanese Gardens but as there was not very much to be seen there in winter time, we did not go in. We also drove up to the Hollywood Bowl, which is a huge ampitheater in a natural setting in the hills of Hollywood. Milton and I stayed down on the stage while Sidney and Earl ran up to the topmost row of the seats. It was a considerable climb, too, for they couldn't run all the way up. It seemed to take a considerable time for the sound from the stage to reach them up there, so we concluded it must have been a good long ways. We also stopped in at Hollywood cemetary and walked through the mauseleum there. It was very beautiful there at the cemetary. It was right next to one of the large movie lots so we peeked over a high board fence but there was very little to be seen besides some rickety buildings and a small pool of water which in regular pictures became the ocean. There were only a few workers around, and nothing at all looking like a camera

We went out to Pasadena that afternoon and drove through the best built up section of the town where only rich folks live. We were rather surprised to see a great many For Sale and For Rent signs ahead of many homes. On the way back we tried to get up in te tower of the new Los Angeles City Hall, but we were ten minutes late so we had to postpone it.

That evening we went to the premiere showing of "Cavalcode" at Grauman's Chinese Theatre. The party included Harold, Paul, Laverne Lehnert, Ruth and Agnes Borchardt and our bunch. The picture itself was quite good though the vaudeville was not any better than one was accustomed to seeing at at a lower priced theater. The picture followed the lives of an Englishman and his wife from the dawning of the twentieth century until the present time. It seemed to concern itself most with the wars through that time and showed the rather deadly influence they exerted on certain persons as well as the general public. It really was one of those pictures that one has to see several times before the full meaning of it can really be gotten.

After the show we invited the bunch up to our apartment and fed them on ice cream and coookies. We all had a very good time.

Road Trip, vol.12

2008-03-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

January 19, 1933 Friday morning when we woke up the sun seemed all ready to shine but after an hour or so it disappeared behind the clouds. We went sightseeing that morning around Hollywood a little and then went back to the apartment for dinner. That afternoon we went down to Redondo Beach and went to look at the indoor swimming pool. It is a heated pool, of course, containing ocean water. There was no one in it at the time so we did not care to go in either. Then we went down to the beach a little further along and picked up sea shells. There were many little ones but we could find only a few large ones. The waves were very high that day, to us at least, being between six and eight feet high at times. When they hit the beach some of them would run up on it for quite a long ways and if they were not watched carefully they would wet your feet. I found that out by experience when one came up exceedingly fast and caught me before I could get away. We even found some bottles and caught some of the sea water. Then we had to hurry to get to Lehnerts in time for supper.

I forgot to mention that on the way out to the beach we were looking at our map for the best street out to Redondo Beach and saw one marked Speedway so we drove over to it in the expectation of finding a wide boulevard. You can imagine our surprise when we found it to be a very narrow street winding between a great many oil derricks. The street itself was not very good but it at least gave us a very good look at oil derricks in operation. There were probably only fifty per cent of the pumps in operation.

That evening we had our supper at Lehnerts and afterwards we went to a League Missionary Meeting at one of the ME churches in the city. It was in reality a sort of union meeting between some of the leagues but for that kind of meeting it was rather poorly attended. A Chinese woman of the city spoke and told about the very difficult time her race was having in becoming Americanized in Los Angeles and pleaded that the young people endeavor to develop a better understanding between the races. She also described the religious activities of the Chinese population there. The speaker herself was a well-educated woman who held an important position in some Chinese organization. She had spent all of her life here in the U.S. and was an American-born citizen. After the devotional meeting a social hour was enjoyed and then refreshments.

Road Trip, vol. 11

2008-03-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

January 18, 1933 The next morning it was raining so we stayed at home all morning and did some writing and tended to a few jobs that needed attention. That afternoon it seemed to clear up and stop raining so we went downtown to window shop and while we were there it started to rain very, very hard. We were on the opposite side of the street from the car and we had to wait a full hour before we could cross to it so high was the water running. It seems the drainage there must be insufficient and the water cannot run off fast enough. In places it was running onto the sidewalks and even into the store buildings. Several basements of stores were flooded and salvage trucks called out. In some street corners the water was flowing just as in a river. When we did get to the car the traffic was so nearly at a standstill it took us over an hous to get home. In many streets the cars were just jammed the whole width of the street, unable to go ahead and unable to go back. The people out there must have been unused to driving on wet streets because I am sure the traffic would not be tied up so badly here in any of our cities. Of course Los Angeles is three times as large as Minneapolis, and traffic there is about as heavy as state fair traffic in the cities.

We finally got back and had our supper and then we went downtown again to a theater. We took in a double feature, two regular shows with all the extras for a quarter. The movies were very good, too.

Road Trip, vol. 10

2008-03-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

January 18, 1933 The next morning we went to Charley Lehnerts’ and read the mail that had accumulated for us while we were on the way. Later we walked about half a mile to the Olympic grounds. The greater part of the buildings had been torn down and moved away but the administration building was still there. It was of practically the same construction as the Exposition buildings in San Diego though by no means as large.

That afternoon we went through the museum at Exposition Park, which park also contains the stadium in which most of the Olympic Games were held. This museum had a great many exhibits; in fact, so many that it would take a person half a day or more to really see them all. It contained everything from a bird and animal exhibit to skeletons of giant prehistoric mammals and from art to an aviation exhibit.

The animal exhibit was really wonderful in the manner of its showing. They were placed in glass-faced booths in the sides of a great hall and were surrounded by plants and foliage of their natural habitat. Then the background was painted on canvas. The work was so expert that one could hardly detect where the real left off and the painting began. Two exhibits in particular were very interesting; one was of two mountain lions crouched in a tree. The booth instead of being lighted by white light was dark blue instead and seemed just like night. Then the lions’ eyes gleamed a fierce yellow and were staring right at you. The other was an exhibit of about eighteen different jungle animals that were placed together in quite lifelike positions. This one was indeed the masterpiece of them all for you couldn’t tell at all where the background began, nor could you truly estimate distances in the exhibit.

In another room they had a military exhibit, in another art, in another Indian relics, another pottery, another colonial costumes, in another a movie exhibit, and in another an aviation and travel exhibit. The movie exhibit was very interesting. It contained costumes worn by some well-known actors in equally well-known pictures. There we saw wax busts of some well-known actors who have passed away. Then it showed how many of the sounds were made for the talking pictures. There were many of the screen props, both of present time and of years ago. It also showed the evolution of film into the present sound pictures.

The aviation and travel exhibit contained one of the army planes to fly around the world some year ago. It also contained a fighting plane of the World War which seemed quite ridiculous compared to the planes we have nowadays. Here we saw two small replicas of steamers. One was about nine feet long and showed everything in detail, even to the lifeboats. The other was very good, even bigger, but was not finished in such small detail. As it was getting late we were forced to leave and go back to the apartment.

Road Trip, vol. 9

2008-03-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

This is the diary kept by Uncle Alvin and his friends during a trip from Minnesota to California.

January 17, 1933 The next morning we drove out there (to San Diego) again and went through their zoo which is the largest I have ever seen. The admission charge was twenty-five cents, but it was well worth it. There were seals, polar bears, elephants, deer and antelope, bison, mountain goats, lions, wolves, panthers, monkeys, fowls of all kinds as well as a large snake exhibit, which we were unable to see because it was feeding day for them. We wandered around in it for two hours, walking very fast, and even then we had not seen everything to be seen.

We then packed up and left for Los Angeles. The road took us along the ocean for a considerable distance, and we could see it very well. The days we were in San Diego had been slightly stormy, or at least windy and the waves were quite big. The road in places was so close to the sea that at high tide spray often splashes on it.

Shortly after noon we arrived at Tustin and stopped for a visit with Billy Ulm. They gave us a very good dinner, which was the first home cooked meal we had after we left home. It certainly was very good, too.

That afternoon we went sightseeing through the surrounding country. The county is really the center of the orange-growing industry in California. In fact about all we saw around there were orange groves. It was largely an irrigated country and so we went up to the irrigation dam in the hills. It was quite a large earth and concrete structure perhaps a thousand feet long with a concrete face towards the water and a concrete sluiceway as well. The water level was quite low at the time but rain arrived shortly after, so undoubtedly it was then quite full. They had been having quite a dry spell around there up to that time, in fact, so much so that some of the farmers had started to irrigate in the winter time which is a most unusual thing. The lake created by this dam is surrounded by quite high hills which are but scantily vegetated. As a result they are called watersheds for the rain runs off them just as it falls, for they absorb very little of it.

We then drove around in the country a little and saw all different kinds of orchards, especially along the hillsides. We also drove through a park and walked around a little too. We again reached Ulms about three o’clock when we were treated to oranges and walnuts, both his own products. We were in a sort of a hurry to get to Los Angeles yet that evening, so we could not stay there as long as we might have wished.

We arrived in Los Angeles about 6:30 that evening and started hunting for an apartment. Most of the managers just wanted to rent by the month though, so we had to hunt around for quite a while to find one that we could get by the week and that would not be too expensive. We finally found one quite near the downtown district that would cost us six and a half dollars a week and the gas and light bill. It was a second floor apartment, but it was quite nice and really gave us a home while we were there.

Jenny Watch

2008-03-15T17:13:00.000-07:00

Down another 1.5 pounds. Go, ME!

Road Trip, vol. 8

2008-03-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

January 16, 1933 The next morning we drove into Mexico to see what there was to be seen. The Mexican authorities examined us at the border but all they did was just look at us and then motion for us to go on. The town of Tia Juana (sic) is only three or four miles across the border, and quite a while before we got there we began to see many beer and whiskey signs. In fact, they were about the only signs to be seen at all. About all we saw in the town were bars and saloons with a few stores and hotels sandwiched in between them. We drove through the town and went on to Rodriquez Dam, which is about 15 miles from the border. It is to be an irrigation dam, apparently, though work had seemingly just started on it and was going forward at a very slow pace. Going out to the dam we had to stop at two more Mexican inspection posts though all they did was just wave at us to go on. At the second post which was only a half a mile from the dam, we saw about half a dozen soldiers. all of them armed with heavy rifles and sidearms. We supposed they were there just to inspect trucks to try and stop contraband goods, perhaps rifles and ammunition.

On the way back to Tia Juana we stopped at Agua Caliente, which is a large racing and gambling center built up entirely by American interests. It was built up on a hilly desert where practically nothing would grow. They had transformed it into a really pretty place and had developed it into a very popular resort. We were there on Monday, which is the only day when races are not held, and so we could see nothing beyond a few racehorses warming up on the track. It is said the place cost several million dollars and is a very popular resort.

Then we drove back to Tia Juana and stopped in a curio store. There were about half a dozen women clerks there who paid absolutely no attention to us so far as we could see. However, they were speaking in their native tongue so we could not tell what they were saying. We bought a few things and paid for them, receiving change in our own money, but when we asked if they had Mexican money, we found that they had only a few pennies that they sold for souveniers, otherwise their exchange was wholy in American money. This gives just about the true light on the town. It is Mexican, but is for the Americans' benefit only.

When we drove back into the United States we were inspected by U.S. authorities, though all he did was to glance through the car and ask us if we had purchased any merchandise, and then allowed us to go on and so we were on our native soil again.

That afternoon we visited Balboa Park and viewed the museum there. There was a very interesting animal display containing all the birds and animals common to that territory. There were also many more objects of interest. The park was an old exposition ground and had vegetation of many different climates there. Most of the buildings on it had been put up hurriedly some years ago and most of them were unsafe now. The walls were constructed so that they seemed to be made of concrete but upon tapping them with our hands, we found them to be only plaster and board construction.

We went to Chula Vista in the evening

Road Trip, vol. 7

2008-03-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

Uncle Alvin's 1933 trip from Minnesota to California

January 14, 1933 The next morning we started out quite early and soon found ourselves in desert country again, though for a while it seemed to have some agricultural possibilities. We were climbing quite steadily and soon crossed the Continental Divide. It seemed quite funny to be crossing the divide and at the same time to be on an almost level plain. After crossing the divide we began losing altitude, and when we reached Tucson had dropped almost two thousand feet. From there on we traveled mainly through desert and mountainous country. We saw quite a few mountains but very few of them were snow-capped. When we reached Yuma we had our first sight of the great Colorado River. We were also inspected there, and the roots were cut off the cactus plants we were taking along.

After leaving Yuma we entered a real desert. There were great sand dunes with very little vegetation. The sand was drifting across the roads, there being quite a strong wind. The strip of desert lasted for a while until we entered the fertile Imperial Valley. Here we saw our first really green country. Everything seemed to be green: truck gardens, lawns, and everything.

Later that day we advanced upon the last mountain range between ourselves and the coast. For perhaps an hour we had some very steep grades and many curves. When we reached the top we found a very strong wind blowing over the mountains. Shortly after, we ran into our first rain of the trip. This was just a week after we had started. We had now reached an elevation of over 4,000 feet, but we soon started going down. As we descended into the valley we soon found ourselves in some really beautiful scenery. The vegetation was almost every color imaginable, from red, green yellow, brown, to white and grey. The rocks were grey and brown, with dark mountains for a background it presented a really pretty picture.

That evening (Sunday) about four o'clock, we entered San Diego. About the first thing we did there, even before we rented a cabin, was to buy four dozen oranges for twenty-five cents. They were quite large and of excellent quality. We then drove through the city and finally located a cabin camp on the southern side of the city and quite near the ocean. It was my first sight of the Pacific Ocean, and it was rather disappointing because it was in reality a bay, and had only a very narrow opening into the ocean proper.

That night we drove around the city for a while, but there was not so very much to be seen. We just formed the impression that San Diego would really be a better city if the border were not so close.

San Diego is the most important naval base on the west coast.The fleet was out while we were there, however, so we saw only a few sailors walking the streets.

Road Trip, vol. 6

2008-03-10T21:01:00.000-07:00

This is the on-going saga of Uncle Alvin and friends’ trip from Minnesota to California.

January 13, 1933 (continued) We then entered the lunch room, a large room equipped with lunch counters and tables where the parties ate lunch. After about a 30 minute stop we again started for a tour of the Big Room, a room over 4,000 feet long and 625 feet wide at the farthest part. In places the ceiling was over 300 feet above us, and in places it was 600 or 700 feet above the floor below. The Big Room was by all means the most beautiful of any one in the cave. In places we saw pools of water in hollows in the floor. The stalactites and stalagmites assumed giant form in this room, too. There were giant chandeliers suspended from the ceiling in places along the room. We passed the Giant Dome which is about 60 feet high and 16 feet in diameter, but was connected to the ceiling. The Twin Domes nearby were almost as large and were true stalagmites. In places we saw pillars shaped about like a Santa Claus. In one place we saw the Giant’s Foot, with a large stalagmite for the big toe and four small ones for the other toes. At the end of this room we came to the Jumping Off Place, which was a sheer cliff with a drop of some 300 feet. The floor below was lighted by electric lights, so we could gain some idea of how the second level looked. As the ceiling was some 300 feet above us the space before us was about 600 feet high. It must be said however, that we could not gain any comprehensive idea of the dimensions because everything seemed much smaller than it really was. On the way back, we passed by a pool that was actually 10 feet deep, but that really seemed to be only about two feet deep. In another place we passed right by a huge hole in the floor that had never been fully explored, and the true dimensions of which could only be estimated. It was believed to be over 300 feet deep though. Another interesting formation was a series of drip stones on the wall that seemed just like a waterfall. Most of the formations in the caverns were dry and non-growing, but in places they were wet and glistening, which was the sign that they were growing at the rate of one cubic inch per one hundred years so it can be seen that some of the formations must have been millions of years old. In one place a growing stalactite was dropping water at about the rate of one drop of water every 55 seconds. Some others dropped much faster, too. There was one stalactite that came within 1/32 of an inch of touching the stalagmite below it but then it stopped growing before they connected.

Later we came to a large rock that had been named “Rock of Ages: because of the fact that it was estimated to be about 50,000,000 years old. We sat down there and all the lights in the caverns were extinguished. Then we heard the beautiful hymn “Rock of Ages”. After 30 seconds of absolutely total darkness the lights half a mile away were put on, then on closer circuits and finally the lights right around. It was really a most moving experience.

Then we walked back to the lunch room where we rested for a while, and where the party split up. Part of it (mostly men) began walking back, the others making use of the elevator service, for an additional charge of 50 cents. The elevator itself is really a marvel of engineering, being 13 months in the construction, and being built from both ends. It was bored and blasted 750 feet through solid rock, in places being only about a hundred feet from the walls of a room. The surveyors had to measure about a thousand angles to find the correct places to drill from both ends. It is said there was an error of about ¼ of an inch when the shafts met. It cost something like $100,000 dollars.

The party walking back then left and went through the caverns at quite a rapid pace. We had numerous rest periods for it was really quite a climb back. We spent about five hours in the cave and traveled about seven miles.

We drove quite late that night so we could get to El Paso, where we rented a cabin for the night.

In other news...

2008-03-09T19:34:00.000-07:00

Week 4 of Jenny, and I'm down another 2 1/2 pounds, and 4 inches lost. Yippee!

Oh, and my hair grew 10 inches and turned blonde. Yeah, that's me over there weighing in wearing my bright red spikes. Uh huh, it sure is.

Road Trip, vol. 5

2008-03-09T16:56:00.000-07:00

January 13, 1933 The next morning we started about 9:45, and drove to the Carlsbad Cavern where we bought our tickets for a tour of the cave. The tickets were $1.65 apiece which seemed rather high, but when we came out we knew that it was about the most worthwhile way we had ever spent our money. The tour started at 10:30 and lasted til 3:30 which was when we got out of the cavern.

We started down into the cavern over a series of switchback trails until we came to a large room a few hundred feet below the surface, where we rested while one of the rangers in charge gave a short lecture on the formation of the caverns. We then went on through a large chamber for perhaps a quarter of an hour when the ranger said we were only coming to the cavern proper. During this time, the formations in the cave were few and not very interesting. We then continued onward and down until we reached larger passages about 400 feet below the level of the entrance. Here we entered a portion of the cavern with some very interesting ornaments. When the lights were placed, various shadows were cast on the walls and the ceiling, some of which resembled human faces, cats, witches, an Indian’s head, etc. One stalagmite resembled an elephant’s ear. A light had been placed back of it, and shown through it. In on place on a wall, a formation had grown that resembled exactly a man’s face while reclining. We then went still lower over stairways and trails and through narrow passages until we reached the main floor at the 750 foot level. On the way, we passed by a loose boulder, supposedly the largest in any cave, weighing probably some 22,000 tons. We then passed through three rooms: the King’s Palace, the Queen’s Bedroom, and the Papoose’s room. In the King’s room, we saw a stalactite called The King’s Bell Cord, which was eight feet long, and one-quarter of an inch in diameter, also being hollow in the center throughout. There were many stalactites and stalagmites in all the chambers and many unusual formations. In one place the formations were growing in any direction. (to be continued...)

Road Trip, vol. 4

2008-03-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

January 12, 1933 The next morning we found ourselves in regular desert country. We ate our breakfast at Odessa. (note: photo to the left is Odessa in the 1930s) While there we were passed by a car from Minnesota, and stopped and talked to them for a few minutes.

We then drove on to Pecos where we stopped for a while and then started for Carlsbad. This was typical desert land with nothing much but cactus and some scrubby brush. We ate our dinner some distance from Pecos and looked the desert over.

We arrived at Carlsbad shortly after dinner and looked around. We visited the museum and saw some very fine arrowheads and fossils of one type or other. We also saw a spring that produced medicinal water at about the rate of 25,000 gallons per hour. The spring was enclosed in a concrete tank with an open top. In places the water could be seen bubbling up from the bottom. The water was of quite good quality, too. We then drove down to a small town near Carlsbad where we camped over night.

Road Trip, vol. 3

2008-03-09T15:49:00.000-07:00

January 11, 1933 The next morning the man who owned the place came over to do his chores at his barn, and seemed rather surprised to find us there; but he made us feel very welcome anyway. We had a flat tire that morning, and he even offered us the use of his car to take it to a filling station a mile away to have it fixed. He had a small herd of cows there, and while he thought they were quite good-sized, we thought they were very tiny indeed. I doubt if any of them weighed much over 600 pounds if they weighed that much. Apparently, he had to buy all their feed, and also he never kept them in at night.

Later we went into Hot Springs to look around a little and buy a tire. While we were walking around, we were seperated, and had quite a time finding each other again. We didn't get started from Hot Springs until almost ten o'clock. We saw a few high hills later that morning, but we soon descended into the cotton country. Later we entered more or less of a swampy country. In one place they must have had a very heavy rain, because the water level in the swamp had evidently risen a few feet. At Fulton we had to cross the Red River by a toll bridge. The river seemed to be aptly named because it had a very red color.

We entered Texas at about 3 o'clock that afternoon. By that evening we had reached Greenville. The country that we had been passing through was mainly a plains country. We saw a good many negroes throughout the day. Most of them lived in rather squalid shacks, and apparently were in rather poor financial conditions.

It had been rather cold weather that day so we decided to drive all night as long as we were passing through plains country, anyway.

Road Trip, vol. 2

2008-03-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

This is part two of a series taken from the journal of Uncle Alvin, who traveled with three friends from Minnesota to California in 1933.

January 10, 1933 The next morning we left Buffalo about 8:00 o’clock and after going through Springfield we really entered the Ozark Mountains. The hills really turned into mountains for height; though they were still composed largely of ground and were covered with forest. The towns became more and more back-woodsy. At Harrison, Arkansas we took a short cut to Hot Springs, going over State highway No.7. The road was very crooked and up hill and down, so that we made very poor time, but the delay was recompensed by the beautiful scenery we saw.

Shortly after, we passed through Jasper, which was really a one-horse town. We stopped there for a little while and just took notice of the inhabitants for a while. The people really seemed dull and might one say “backward”.

Going through the Ozark hills in Arkansas, we saw quite a few mountaineer’s shacks. They didn’t seem to have very much as means of support beyond a few acres of poorly cultivated land. In places we saw land so stony that we couldn’t understand how they could cultivate it, or how anything could grow. Most places the fields contained boulders and dead trees in profusion. I suppose the largest support the inhabitants have is moonshining.

We believed that we had a real depression in Minnesota, but after going through the Ozarks and after leaving them, we had changed our minds. We stopped at a filling station at Perry and spoke to the man there, who happened to be a German and who had traveled “right smart”. We had seen quite a few teams of mules hitched to an old lumber wagon and with four or five people riding on it. He said that it was getting to be quite an event when the people could borrow a mule and wagon, and make the trip to town. Most of them had owned Fords, but had to junk them. Most of the crop there is cotton, so that it could only be sold. Each man could farm about 30 or 35 acres alone, and as it could produce only from 1/3 to perhaps 2 bales per acre, and white cotton was only about 5 or 6 dollars a bale, it could be seen that it is very hard to earn enough to live on. Incidentally, or perhaps more a matter of necessity, the people had returned to the practice of raising as much of their food as they possibly could.

At this time we had been forced to detour because of an unfinished highway and just about dusk we got onto a very poor road. To add to our troubles, in several places the bridges on the road had never been built and so we had to go on old ones that happened to be there. In one place there was not an old one so we had to ford a small stream. Beyond this just a ways we went over a road that resembled a roller coaster because of innumerable dips and curves in the road.

We finally got onto paved road again and entered Hot Springs at 10 o’clock that night. We walked up and down the streets for a while before we hunted a camping ground. We finally stopped at a place where a house had burned down. We thought the place deserted but found out the next morning that it was not. It was so warm there that we camped without setting up the tent.

Road Trip, vol. 1

2008-03-06T08:38:00.000-08:00

Seventy-five years ago, Uncle Alvin and his three best friends decided to take a trip from their homes in Belle Plaine, Minnesota to California. Alvin kept a diary of the trip, into which he poured his daily observations. Climb into Milton's 1931 Chevy 2-door with Alvin, Milton, Sydney and Earl, and let's make our way to the Golden State. (Note: with the exception of two photos I'll post in a later installment, the pictures I'm including are for interest only, and were not taken on Alvin's journey. They are, however, photos of the places Alvin and his friends visited.)

January 8-9, 1933 Left from Milton's at 10 p.m. The first night we drove over fairly level country and did not see much scenery. We had an awful time getting to Des Moines, but finally got there and lost Milton's gloves. Got into Missouri yet that morning at 8:15. Had breakfast just over the line near Rineville. We then drove on, entering the Ozark Hills that morning. We drove through some pretty scenery though the hills were not high. That afternoon we arrived at the Bagnal dam, going through a deep cut in a hill just before we got there. We walked part way across, taking a time snap from the dam. The lake was apparently flooded into a series of ravines, quite dry. The lake winds over a considerable section of country, and we saw it a number of times after we left the dam. The dam itself is a concrete structure about half a mile long. That night we drove to Buffalo, arriving there at 8:00 and camped there. It was the first night we set up our tent.

Week 2 with Jenny

2008-02-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

No loss at the weigh-in last Friday, which I expected. (curses on Roadhouse Grill and those addicting peanuts!) But since then I'm down another 3 pounds. I'll report in after this week's visit.

I Have a Dream...

2008-02-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

Last night I dreamed Sarah and I were taking the boys to school, and we took our regular route through Wild Animal Park (of course; where else?), when a lion and lioness ran out in front of us to attack. We hit them square on, and for the rest of the day the car wore lion carcasses on it’s nose. Until we stopped at a red light by the Mission Inn, where a pedestrian saw the carnage, and turned us in. Within minutes, about 15 park workers in lovely green coveralls came to remove the bodies. And to arrest us. They couldn't find us, because we were involved in a photo shoot for America's Next Top Model.

Good news: the boys weren’t late for school.

What was your oddest dream?

February Pie Sale

2008-02-24T10:20:00.000-08:00

As of Friday, with nine days left, we've sold:

13,501

Just in case...

2008-02-20T20:29:00.000-08:00

...I'm not awake at 3:15 tomorrow morning, I'm taking this opportunity to say Happy Birthday, Sarah! You are definitely worth the 46-hour labor. I'd do it again in a heartbeat for the joys you have brought me. You're caring and funny and strong, and you're trying really hard to be the best mom you can be. (It's paying off, too...the guys are amazing) I'm proud of how hard you are working to become self-sufficient. On your birthday, I wish you continued strength to walk this tough road you're walking. With God's help, you'll get there. I wish you wisdom as you strive to grow your great little guys into great grown-up men. I wish you love and tenderness and honesty as you build your relationship with Bill. And I wish you lots of good conversations on your cute little green phone!

I'm nuts about you, kiddo.

Momz

Open letter to parents/friends/co-workers of potential AI participants:

2008-02-16T17:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Ones: If you care at all for the person who mentions auditioning, and if they (1) can't carry a tune in a bucket or (2) have absolutely NO charisma, it is your duty as a human being to talk them out of it! You parents who think it's important to encourage your beloved offspring in whatever endeavors they choose, you are WRONG! It's not doing them any favors to pretend they have what it takes for a competition like this. Don't lie to them; don't lead them on; don't pretend with them that they have vocal talent if they do not; offer to help them discover what their true abilities really ARE. And for pete's sake, don't raise them to be so self-centered that they have a full-blown public temper tantrum if someone dares to tell them the truth. Lastly, if they are talentless, yet still insist on putting themselves through this, please teach them to leave gracefully, keeping their potty mouth shut and their filthy hands in their pockets.

Decorum, people. Please.

week 1

2008-02-15T21:31:00.000-08:00

And I'm down 6 1/2 pounds. I don't expect this kind of loss next week, but WAY TO KICK START!

...and, sadly, found.

2008-02-13T07:38:00.000-08:00

Kirstie Ally and I were fast friends. Together, we had a successful run with Jenny. But I regained much of what I had lost (and I am suspicious that perhaps Kirstie did, as well). So I'm back, and this time I'm hooking up with Queen Latifa and Valerie Bertinelli. Good company.

I'll keep you posted...

10 Things I Hope You Won't Hate About Me

2008-02-09T16:21:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Christina. So obediently, here I go.

1. I listen to the police scanner every night. Sometimes it's very quiet, and I find myself feeling a little disappointed that more crime isn't going on in Riverside.

2. My Darling Daddy taught me that we don't eat anything that swims, flies, or runs in the woods. That means no fish, because, ew. Chickens are ok because they don't fly; they just kind of schmuzzle around flapping madly. But there'll be no duck, goose, or pidgeon on my plate. No sirree. And Bambi is completely safe from my fork.

3. I LOVE boy bands.

4. I LOVE reality shows. And if the reality show is about boy bands? Wow, that's just icing. (did anyone else watch the original Making the Band? O-Town? YES!)

5. I like to go to the movies all by myself, take off my shoes, put my feet up on the seat in front of me, (shhh; don't tell) and waste countless minutes.

6. Sleeping habit: one foot outside the covers, maybe even hanging off the bed. It regulates the body temperature.

7. I fight negativity and an overtly critical spirit with every thought and word. If you haven't seen that in my character, it's because I'm in here plugging the dam like crazy to keep it from leaking out and sloshing all over you.

8. I'd love to be able to raise one eyebrow. It's such a useful expression. Maybe a discrete piercing and some fishing line...

9. I didn't GET The Matrix. Maybe I'm too old or too dense or too old-fashioned or too disinterested. I much preferred Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

10. Wow, I really, really miss Gilmore Girls.

So, now I'll tag Bill, Sarah, Krista and Bethany.

One step closer to being a Black Belt..

2008-01-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

We are so proud of our little ninja!

I said "Just a little off the top, please" ...

2008-01-26T21:51:00.001-08:00

...and this is what I got

Take a Whiff of That Puppy Smell

2008-01-26T21:25:00.000-08:00

This young fellow had the good luck to be sitting with his brothers in a shopping cart outside of Albertsons when Sarah (aka Sucker!) came by. Meet my new grand dog. The boys are at their Dad's house, so they haven't met him yet...not until after school on Monday. C-Monkey, who is a lover of all things beastie, will flip.

No name yet; Bill suggested Otis. I suggested Max. C-Monk will probably go for Cookie Dog. Robbie will want to go with something exotic, like Montana. Or Guitar Hero. What would you name a big old black dog?

Oh, by the way, he's half Labrador Retriever and half Newfoundland. Gonna be a BIG boy!

The Inmates Are In Charge...

2008-01-26T11:31:00.000-08:00

We have an employee (we'll call her Posey) who has given us nothing but grief for over a year. She has been rude to customers, employees and managers. We suspect her of having "keyed" a manager's car because he wrote her up. She hit-and-ran another employee's truck, but eventually owned up to it...refused to pay for it, though. Now she was caught tagging 3 other employees' cars with bright orange paint. The police are now involved, and the 3 employees each have restraining orders against Posey. So I fired her Friday. She's going to fight it. She says I can't fire her for tagging the cars, because it didn't happen on the store property. She says I can't fire her for being rude because I don't have written reports for each of the many, many times I talked to her about it. She says I can't fire her for sexual harassment (she grabbed another employee's backside, and made a suggestive comment to him) because I don't have his complaint in writing. She says her lawyer will want to see all the documentation I have. Oh, and she says I have to build her a schedule around the restraining orders so she can still work here.

Some questions:
1. Why on EARTH would you want to work in a place where the other employees don't like you, the management team doesn't want you on their shifts, and the customers complain about you all the time?
2. How can a nineteen-year-old afford a lawyer?
3. Since when does an employer have to put up with such nonsense from a worker with poor work habits? California used to be an at-will state. What happened to that?

Meet my current best friend.

2008-01-21T07:55:00.000-08:00

May God bless and keep the creator of this elixer; may he suffer only good health; may great riches cross his palm; may his children rise up and call him blessed.

chirp

2008-01-20T09:09:00.000-08:00

My little house has nine smoke detectors. Nine. We do not, as recommended, change all the batteries twice a year. In fact, because it is such an ordeal with these 10 ft ceilings, we only change them on an as-needed basis.

I believe this cricket is in my house. It has been chirping since about 6:30 a.m. Every 30 seconds. For 3 hours. The Exterminator is not home, but as soon as he gets here, I'll drag in the ladder and hand him a new 9 volt battery so he can STOP. THAT. NOISE.

Down for the count...

2008-01-18T08:02:00.000-08:00

Going on 5 days. Still feeling scratchy, stuffy etc. Sleeping in the guest room so I don't cough/sneeze/breathe on the the huz, and transfer this disease to him. Because a sick man in the house -- ladies, can I get a witness? -- is a far greater calamity than any other discomfort a head cold can bring.

By the way, I don't think QVC offers these handy gadgets...

Just a-ponderin'

2008-01-12T21:49:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me that the time on the clock in Sarah's living room will more likely be corrected again by the turn of the calendar than by her actually setting it to DST. Hang in there, Sarah. We'll be "springing ahead" again real soon.

It occurs to me that Paul Carcamo, Poly High School Class of 1999, will soon turn 7 years old. Happy birthyear, Paul.

It occurs to me that the beauty of the Fake Christmas Tree is largely offset by the HUGE pain in the patoot it becomes each January to get it back into that box. It might be a whole lot simpler to buy a live tree and let the city haul it away when I'm sick of the whole mess and just want it gone.

It occurs to me that none of the Lukes I know are of the same particular temperature, although they have their own designator: Luke warm. Is there a different temperature for Matthew, Mark and John?

meh.

2008-01-11T21:28:00.000-08:00

A few cute moments. Cameron loved it...especially the princess's butler. Apparently, he'd never heard that word before. He spent 85 minutes saying "BUTT-ler" and laughing.

If my girls were still babies....

2008-01-11T20:38:00.000-08:00

When my girls were little, the child-rearing experts told us parents that playing Mozart for them would build their brains, and they would develop into incredible thinkers who would grow up to cure cancer, travel to Pluto, and bring about world peace. Yeah, not so much. This cockamamie theory was eventually debunked, and we all went back to You Are My Sunshine and Hush, Little Baby.

I wonder what social changes we would see if we immersed our kids in this? Among the choices are Baby Metallica, Baby Coldplay, Baby Stones, Baby Nirvana, Baby Pink Floyd, Baby The Cure, Baby Smashing Pumpkins, Baby Beatles, Baby Ramones, Baby Eagles, and yes,boys...Baby U2. You can even download some Baby Radiohead on itunes.

Give it a try, parents. I'll be expecting some earth changing stuff from your kids. Failing that, there's always The Wheels on the Bus.

As promised...

2008-01-09T17:10:00.000-08:00

I told you that if the item purchased during a sleep-deprived, what-the-heck-am-I-doing-up-at-this-hour moment was a good one, I'd share with you. It is, so I will.

Meet The H2O mop. It heats up the water so you're cleaning with steam. And my floors haven't felt this good to my (perpetually) bare feet since we first moved in. It even eliminated that "Stinky Little Boys Who Can't Aim" bathroom smell. Sadly, the laminate flooring still streaks -- if anyone has a sure-fire way to mop laminate without leaving streaks, you'll be in the will -- though it didn't streak as much, probably because the hot water evaporates so quickly.

Suggestion: don't look at the mop cover when you're done. Just toss it in the washer, and hope the Tide does what it's supposed to do.

Have you been following this?

2008-01-08T22:14:00.000-08:00

This is the compelling true story of a young couple who are fighting her cystic fibrosis. Tonight she underwent a C-section to deliver their daughter Gwyneth Rose. She weighs 1 pound, 2 ounces. Read their story, and pray for them.

Tuesdays at 8

2008-01-08T22:05:00.000-08:00

I haven't watched this for a couple of years, but I'm back. This year, the contestants are all couples: married, siblings, friends, parent/child, even one pair of strangers. I can guarantee I'll be sobbing through the weigh-ins each week. And cringing through the workout sessions.

Next week, American Idol begins. I'll be sobbing through the selection process, and cringing through the auditions.

At Last, A Really Helpful Kids' Site

2008-01-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

Rockin' Robbie has been struggling with memorizing his times tables. Tonight I found this on-line video game designed by actual PS gamers, so the graphics are great, and the critters run the gamult from cute enough for girls to creepy enough for boys. My favorite part: nobody dies; if you run out of time, the ogre bops you with his club, and you start over. It's a little tricky to maneuver, because you have to use the keyboard and mouse simultaneously...it didn't seem to slow Robs down much.

Bottom line: my little guy told me last week that he hates math because multiplication is so hard. Tonight I had to drag him away from this game, and by the time I did, he had mastered some tough facts.

Oh, I forgot to mention one thing; you can download one version for FREE!

PS. Next morning, I quizzed Robbers on the problems he had encountered the night before, and he knew every single one. Plus, he was grinning and excited to give me those answers with absolutely NO hesitation! I think this one may be a winner.

SOAP...because cleanliness is next to Godliness

2008-01-07T07:41:00.000-08:00

My girlfriends and I have decided to do our daily Bible reading together-ish. We read the same scripture, mull, chew, then email each other with the lesson God has for us. Our beloved Carol has made this much more do-able by suggesting that instead of trying to read for a specific length of time, or a prescribed number of verses, that we take a section of scripture, as divided by the editors. Some days that can be 15 or 20 verses; other days it might be only 5. But we have found that each section holds a complete truth to ponder. For us in this distracting, busy life, it's what we can do. And for us, it's working.

Here's a little how-to I found on another blog (sorry; I don't remember who to give credit to, so we'll just say it was God inspired, and leave it at that)

S for Scripture
Open your Bible to the section we're reading today. Take time reading and allow God to speak to you. Highlight, underline or place a mark in the margin of your Bible, next to the scriptures that stand out. When you are done, reread the verses you marked, look for one that particularly spoke to you that day, and write it in your journal.
O for Observation
What do you think God is saying to you in this scripture? Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you and reveal Jesus to you. Paraphrase and write this scripture down in your own words, in your journal.
A for Application
Personalize what you have read, by asking yourself how it applies to your life right now. Perhaps it is instruction, encouragement, revelation of a new promise, or corrections for a particular area of your life. Write how this scripture can apply to you today.
P for Prayer
This can be as simple as asking God to help you use this scripture, or it may be a greater insight on what He may be revealing to you. Remember, prayer is a two way conversation, so be sure to listen to what God has to say! Now, write it out.

With that, it's on to Acts 4 for me and my gals. Kay and Diane, I'll "e" you later this morning.

Heart of Worship

2008-01-05T08:37:00.000-08:00

We have labeled those who stand on the stage with instruments or microphones and lead a song service "The Worship Team". The title makes me squirm a bit.

What makes a Worship Team? How about the pastors of each department, spending hours and hours preparing for the weekend. Isn't that a Worship Team? How about the guys in the orange vests standing in the drizzle with big smiles and waves, welcoming every person as they come to church? How about the snack bar crew, arriving at church while it's still dark to make coffee for the early birds? And those angels who lovingly rock screaming babies, willingly change icky diapers? Definitly a Worship Team.

And the people -- babies, children, youth, adults -- coming to church to learn about God, inviting Him to change who they are, lifting hands and hearts and lives to Him -- isn't that truly The Worship Team? Whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly as though unto God. Because YOU are the Worship Team.

When the music fades, all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart,
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You, Jesus